One of the biggest complaints about church-goers is that we're all "fake."  Some of our families are falling apart. Some of us feel hopeless. We have bad days just like the rest of the world, but, for some reason, on Sunday mornings, we put on our happy face and say, "Hey!  How are you?  Me? I'm fine!  It's so good to see you...blah, blah, blah." No wonder we're perceived as fake...sometimes we ARE.  Why do we feel the need to pretend?!?    

Some of the other Catalyst women and I are reading through the "Real Life Discipleship" workbook during our discipleship meetings. The other night, we hit a section that described the two key characteristics: TRANSPARENCY and AUTHENTICITY. 

For me, transparency is pretty clear (no pun intended ;)). We must be willing to show our true feelings and experiences--dirt and all. In doing so, we can move beyond our hurts or struggles, into a place where God can change our lives. Our transparency, in turn, makes others feel less-vulnerable and willing to put their own baggage on the table.  The most common thing we hear people say about the people at Catalyst is that they are "REAL."  Our people have a knack for being transparent.  Maybe that's because most of them haven't grown up in the church...they never learned to be "fake!"

But how is being AUTHENTIC different than being TRANSPARENT?  Furthermore, I was struck by the question "The behavior that convinces me that someone is an authentic person is...."  What is it that makes someone authentic?  It was hard for me to articulate.  In relationships, I see authenticity being a genuine interest and respect for me as a person. And, for me, I think it comes down to someone's willingness to go over-and-beyond what is "socially polite."  For example, they remember details about my life that I wouldn't expect someone engaged in "small-talk" to recall later. They remember an important date.  They call or text just to let me know they're praying about something that's happening in my life.  That's how I know. The discussion reminded me that I need to evaluate myself occasionally to see if I'm being authentic in my relationships.  And, perhaps you need to, as well.    

It seems unrealistic expect anyone to be completely transparent and completely authentic with every single person they meet, right?!?  Sometimes, the greeter at Wal-mart is not really interested in "how you are today," and it would be inappropriate to stop and (trasparently) describe to him the crappy day you're having.  So, of course, there's a limit to how many of these deep relationships you can foster.  But, we all need a few transparent/authentic relationships where we can share, be held accountable, and be encouraged.  If you need one, I'd encourage you to get into a Connection Group at Catalyst...if you need something even deeper, it's time for some discipleship.  

SO, sure, it's fine to tell the guy at Wal-mart, "I'm fine" even when things are falling apart...as long as you have a small group of Christian brothers and sisters to run to--a group that encourages transparency and authenticity.