I had  a revelation today…wait let me start over.  I had the sweetest admonishment today.  I’ll tell you why. 

It started like this.  My friend texted me late last night to tell me that his mom…my adopted mom (in the sense that I have claimed her as mom and spiritual mentor, and she has accepted) had been placed in the hospital to remove fluid from her lungs due to a bout with pneumonia.  (The pneumonia is a side issue…actually the larger issue is stage 4 cancer). She has been diligently fighting the effects and side effects of said cancer for a couple years now and has amazingly been victorious beyond the doctors wildest expectations.

Okay, so having said that, as I looked at the text before me about the latest  developments in her battle, I just stared down as grief started welling up within me.  I scared my wife, and she asked what was wrong, and came to my side. I couldn’t say anything.  I just showed her the text and began sobbing and fighting to maintain control.  I was overcome. I was distraught at best and stricken at worst.  I went to bed that way.  

I got up this morning and carried on with my bereavement.  I was, as they say, in a bad way.  Somehow though, I made it to my truck and drove to the hospital to see my friend and find some solace in showing her my deepest sense of sorrow. 

I walked into her hospital room and there she sat in her “throne” as she explained, where she was fed and administered to,  the greatest care and loving that any one person could ever want.  She was offered great food, and medicines any time she felt ill.  She could have a blanket if cold, and be helped to the bathroom, if needed.  I was immediately humbled. 

Here was a lady who was completely stripped of all her worldly adornments and fleshly attributes.  There were no fancy clothes, just an ordinary hospital gown.  No manicured nails, the water retention of late had made them turn black. No hair to primp, the chemo had taken that.  No need for make up or jewelry, and yet she had the most beautiful rosy red cheeks and a smile that made my heart melt.  I sat down and listened as she told me about “the gift” that cancer had given her.

She said she now understood what it felt like to be handicapped, she was  unable to lift limbs, and she was truly grateful for knowing how others lived like that.   She showed me exceptional humility when she allowed me to sit with her when all she had to offer was the greatness of God within her. 

I tried to ask her what I was going to do when she was gone. She would not allow my foray back into self pity and redirected my approach with an exclamation of gratitude for the lady who brought her a balloon. 

I got to see today, that once again, God is good.  He is just and faithful, and holiness is an attribute of His that can be claimed by us…but only when we give up ourselves.  Suffering begets knowing (Him), and only by knowing can we experience the richness of his glory.